They Don’t Trust You

Trust is earned, the price is paid daily.

Trusted leaders earn radically better performance, engagement, and employee vulnerability. Sadly, doing the work to become and stay trusted is not happening in our workplaces. How do I know – talk with anyone at work about how vulnerable they are willing to be with their boss.

Is building trust a challenge? – absolutely. Does it require new skills? – of course. Is the ROI worth it? – only if you want to crush goals.

How does this work.

  1. Acknowledg the situation. Individual contributors have heard all the horror stories of disrespectful leaders, punitive bosses, and incompetent supervisors. We may not like these stories but they do frame the understanding of our team members. This is the reality of life, just like gravity.
  2. Have patience. Your team will not trust you because of a 5 minute conversation or worse – an email broadcast. Instead you have to expect to invest daily in building trust with each person on your team. This is a long game, building trust takes months.
  3. Be curious. Get to know the individuals on your team. What drives them, what excites them, and how do they want their career to advance. Where do they run into friction? You want to amass a dossier of understanding each person. This will take time (remember #2).
  4. Make their lives better. Yes, this is your responsibility. As a leader/supervisor/manager, your job is to help everyone on your team operate better. This means finding and removing frictions, coaching them to improve skills, and giving them a path for career advancement.
  5. Improve your own skill stack. Some of the “better” that your team needs will be new for you – yes, it’s an opportunity for your own growth. To coach your team, you will need to improve your communication, research, and presentation skills. It’s not their job to read your mind – it is your job to educate and catalyze behavior changes in your team.
    • Learn to handle emotional discomfort. Recognizing our own ignorance and incompetence at skills can be emotionally challenging – and it’s a necessity. Learn how to self regulate your brain chemistry and emotions. This is a critical element in learning new skills and being vulnerable yourself with your team, peers, and leadership.
  6. Repeat

I’ve used this process for 15+ years of team leadership. It has always been a part of the 40PB system that gave double digit improvements in productivity and cut churn.

Beyond the Myers-Briggs: A Guide to Building Self-Awareness for Effective Leadership

The quest for effective leadership hinges on a fundamental principle: self-awareness. A leader who understands their strengths, weaknesses, biases, and communication styles is better equipped to navigate complex situations, inspire teams, and cultivate a thriving work environment.

A tool most often used is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI.) The MBTI identifies four cognitive functions: Introversion (I) or Extraversion (E), Sensing (S) or Intuition (N), Thinking (T) or Feeling (F), Judging (J) or Perceiving (P). By understanding your preferences in each area, you gain insights into how you gather information, make decisions, and interact with the world.

The MBTI helps you identify your natural strengths. For example, someone who scores high on Extraversion (E) might be a natural communicator and enjoy brainstorming with others, while someone high on Thinking (T) might excel at logical analysis and problem-solving.

And While the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator offers a valuable starting point, self-awareness often requires us to go deeper. It’s most effectively used in conjunction with other self-awareness models.

This article delves beyond the MBTI, exploring various models and tools that can illuminate the intricate landscape of your inner world as a leader.

Unveiling the Layers of Self:

1. The Johari Window: Developed by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, the Johari Window is a powerful tool for understanding self-disclosure and feedback. It divides the self into four quadrants:

  • Open Self: Known by both you and others. This includes your strengths, weaknesses, and readily observable behaviors. Expanding your open self requires you to actively seek feedback via regular check-ins with colleagues, debriefing how you came across during key situations/critical meetings or presentations, etc.
  • Blind Self: Unknown by you but known by others. These are often blind spots – aspects of your personality or communication style that impact others but remain hidden from your own perception. You can reduce blind spots by soliciting feedback from trusted sources, paying attention to others’ nonverbal cues towards you (are they engaged, confused, dismissive?), and by analyzing how your behavior or communication impacts the team overall.
  • Hidden Self: Known by you but unknown by others. This could be private thoughts, experiences, or vulnerabilities you haven’t shared. Consider journaling to reveal hidden patterns, biases, or triggers you might not be consciously aware of. Therapy is a fantastic option, too.
  • Unknown Self: Unknown by both you and others. This is the unconscious part of your personality that may emerge in unexpected situations. Being open to input is vital here.

2. Emotional Intelligence Frameworks:

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a critical component of effective leadership. Frameworks like Daniel Goleman’s model explore the five key components of EQ:

  • Self-Awareness: Recognizing your own emotions, their triggers, and their impact on your behavior.
  • Self-Regulation: Managing your emotions to avoid impulsive reactions.
  • Motivation: Setting goals and taking initiative.
  • Empathy: Understanding and considering the feelings of others.
  • Social Skills: Building relationships, managing conflict, and influencing others effectively.

By assessing your strengths and weaknesses in each area, you can develop strategies to improve your EQ and become a more emotionally intelligent leader.

3. The Leadership Circle: This framework highlights the various leadership styles that emerge from our core needs and fears. It proposes that leaders function at different levels, ranging from a self-protective, ego-driven level to a fully self-actualized, purpose-driven level. Unlike traditional leadership models, it focuses on the interplay between two key aspects: Task Competence ( the skills, knowledge, and abilities required to complete tasks effectively, and Relationship Capacity (encompassing your ability to build trust, connect with others, and navigate emotions. It also proposes that our leadership style emerges from a combination of two core needs: The Need for Inclusion (the desire to connect with others, feel valued, and be part of a group,) and The Need for Control (the desire to feel in charge, have influence, and achieve results.)

4. The StrengthsFinder: Developed by Gallup, the StrengthsFinder web-based assessment helps identify and represent your natural talents – the things you do effortlessly and with great enjoyment. By leveraging your natural strengths as a leader, you can delegate tasks effectively, play to your team’s strengths, inspire and motivate others, and create a more productive and fulfilling work environment.

Cracking the Leadership Code: What It Takes to Be (and Not Be) the Captain of the Ship

The word “leader” conjures images of commanding figures, bellowing orders from atop thrones (or, at least, conference room tables). But the truth is, effective leadership is far more nuanced, a subtle dance between vision, collaboration, and humility. So, what separates the captains who steer their teams to success from those who leave them stranded on islands of confusion and frustration? Let’s get into the essence of effective leadership, and dispel some common misconceptions along the way.

What Effective Leadership Is:

  • Vision and Direction: A leader paints a clear picture of the “why” behind the “what.” They articulate a compelling vision that inspires and unites the team, providing a north star to navigate even the stormiest seas.
  • Empowerment and Collaboration: Leadership isn’t a solo act. Effective leaders recognize the power of collective intelligence and empower their team members to contribute their unique skills and perspectives. Collaboration is key, not competition.
  • Communication and Transparency: Clear, open communication is the lifeblood of any team. Effective leaders share information, explain decisions, and actively listen to feedback. Closed doors or cryptic pronouncements from the bridge just don’t work. 
  • Growth and Development: Effective leaders invest in their team’s growth. They provide opportunities for learning, mentorship, and skill development, ensuring everyone has the tools and confidence to reach their full potential.
  • Adaptability and Resilience: The best leaders aren’t rigid captains clinging to outdated maps. They embrace change, adapt to challenges, and navigate stormy waters with agility and decisiveness.

What Effective Leadership Isn’t:

  • Micromanagement and Control: Leaders don’t need to hold every rope on the ship. Micromanaging stifles creativity and initiative, leaving team members feeling like marionettes dancing to someone else’s tune.
  • Authoritarianism and Ego: The “my way or the highway” approach might work for pirates, but not for modern leaders. Collaboration and respect are key, not dictatorial pronouncements.
  • Taking All the Credit: True leaders understand that success is rarely a solo endeavor. They readily share credit and celebrate the team’s accomplishments, fostering a culture of shared ownership and motivation.
  • Playing Favorites and Creating Silos: Effective leaders champion inclusivity and bridge the gaps between silos. They build a team where everyone feels valued and heard, not a ship divided by petty fiefdoms.
  • Stagnation and Apathy: Leaders who get too comfortable become anchors weighing down the ship. Effective leaders remain curious, constantly seek improvement, and inspire their team to do the same.

Remember, effective leadership isn’t about titles or pronouncements. It’s about creating an environment where individuals can thrive, contribute their best, and collectively navigate towards a shared destination. 

Ditch the Sandwich, Slice it Thin: A Fresher Approach to Employee Feedback

The “feedback sandwich,” that well-worn staple of performance reviews, feels as comforting as stale bread these days. We layer compliments with criticism, hoping the good stuff buffers the blow. But instead, it often undermines the impact of both praise and critique, leaving employees confused and deflated.

So, let’s throw out the stale bread and get slicing with a sharper, more effective approach. 

1. Ditch the Double Dip:

Separate praise and criticism entirely. Give genuine appreciation where due, in separate conversations or moments, so it can be fully savored and owned. Then, when addressing areas for improvement, focus solely on that, with clarity and actionable steps. Two bites, not one.

2. Focus on the Future, Not the Past:

Dwelling on past mistakes isn’t helpful. Instead, frame feedback around future opportunities for growth. Use specific examples to illustrate the impact of current behaviors, but always point towards achievable steps for improvement. Forward motion, not rearview mirror gazing.

3. Make it a Conversation, Not a Dictate:

Feedback isn’t a one-way street. Encourage open dialogue, actively listen to their perspective, and co-create solutions together. This fosters ownership and commitment to change. A duet, not a solo.

4. Action, Not Ambiguity:

Vague platitudes like “be more proactive” leave them hanging. Be specific about desired actions and behaviors. Offer resources, support, and check-ins to ensure progress. Clear roadmap, not a treasure map with X marks the spot.

5. Empathy, Not Edict:

Remember, you’re not giving feedback to a machine. Consider their emotional state, communication style, and receptiveness. Deliver feedback with respect, honesty, and a genuine desire to support their growth. Caring chef, not drill sergeant.

Bonus Tip: Ditch the formality. Feedback doesn’t need to be a quarterly ritual in a conference room. Give it in real-time, in the flow of work, with positive reinforcement woven into the process. Make it a continuous conversation, not a big scary event.

By focusing on actionable steps, open dialogue, and a touch of empathy, we can make feedback a powerful tool for growth, not a dreaded chore. Remember, employees aren’t hungry for stale sandwiches. They want fresh feedback, served with a side of support and a commitment to their growth. Let’s give them the nourishment they deserve to truly thrive.

Nurturing a Culture of Generosity and Growth

In the world of leadership, success is often measured by the impact we make on our teams and the lasting legacy we leave behind. As we navigate the intricate dance of leading a company, it’s not just about profits and bottom lines; it’s about cultivating a culture of generosity, growth, and enduring success. Drawing inspiration from the philosophy of giving, let’s explore the principles that can transform you into a truly successful leader.

1. The Art of Generosity

Successful leaders understand the profound impact of generosity. It’s not just about giving perks or bonuses; it’s about giving time, attention, and opportunities. Be generous with your knowledge, your mentorship, and your willingness to listen. When you create a culture of generosity, you foster an environment where your team feels supported and empowered to thrive.

2. Nurture a Growth Mindset

Embrace the power of a growth mindset, not just for yourself but for your entire organization. Encourage your team to see challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. When mistakes happen, reframing them as valuable lessons rather than failures can shift the entire dynamic of your workplace. A growth mindset fosters innovation, resilience, and a collective commitment to continuous improvement.

3. Empowerment through Delegation

As a leader, it’s tempting to take on everything yourself. However, true success lies in the art of delegation. Empower your team by entrusting them with responsibilities and decision-making authority. Delegating not only lightens your load but also cultivates a sense of ownership and accountability within your team, propelling them towards greater heights.

4. Embrace Diverse Perspectives

In the pursuit of success, diversity is not just a checkbox; it’s a strategic advantage. Actively seek out and embrace diverse perspectives within your team. When people from different backgrounds, experiences, and viewpoints come together, the synergy can lead to innovative solutions and a richer, more resilient company culture.

5. Foster Psychological Safety

Success flourishes in an environment where team members feel safe to express their ideas, voice concerns, and take risks without fear of retribution. Prioritize psychological safety by encouraging open communication, actively listening to feedback, and valuing each team member’s unique contributions. A psychologically safe workplace is the breeding ground for creativity, collaboration, and genuine success.

6. Lead with Humility

The most successful leaders are not those who trumpet their accomplishments but rather those who lead with humility. Acknowledge your mistakes, be open to learning from others, and celebrate the achievements of your team. Humility creates a culture where everyone feels valued, fostering a collective sense of purpose and commitment to shared goals.

7. Continuous Learning and Adaptation

In the dynamic landscape of business, success is an ongoing journey, not a final destination. Cultivate a culture of continuous learning and adaptation. Stay curious, encourage your team to explore new ideas, and be willing to pivot when necessary. The ability to adapt is a hallmark of enduring success.

Conclusion

As a leader, success is not solely defined by the numbers on a balance sheet but by the lasting impact you make on your team and the organization as a whole. Embrace the principles of generosity, growth, and a genuine commitment to the well-being of your team. By leading with a giving mindset, you not only elevate your own success but also contribute to the collective success of those around you. Remember, true leadership is not about being the best; it’s about bringing out the best in others.

Leading with Purpose: The Transformative Power of Values in Leadership

In the dynamic world of leadership, where strategies evolve and markets shift, one constant remains unwavering – the profound influence of values. Drawing inspiration from “Values to Action,” let’s delve into the significance of values in leadership and how they serve as the compass guiding leaders toward purposeful and impactful decision-making.

The Essence of Values

“Values to Action” reminds us that values are not mere abstract concepts but the essence of who we are as leaders. They are the principles that shape our character, influence our decisions, and define our leadership style. Understanding and embracing our values is the first step on the journey to authentic and effective leadership.

A Foundation for Decision-Making

Leaders are constantly faced with decisions that can shape the trajectory of their teams and organizations. In this intricate dance of choices, values provide a solid foundation. When decisions align with our core values, they resonate with authenticity and integrity. Leaders who make decisions rooted in their values cultivate trust and credibility among their teams.

Inspiring a Shared Vision

Great leaders are visionaries who inspire others to join them on a collective journey. Values play a pivotal role in crafting and communicating this vision. When leaders articulate a vision that aligns with shared values, they ignite a sense of purpose among team members. This shared value-driven vision becomes a guiding light, uniting individuals toward a common goal.

Building a Values-Driven Culture

Organizational culture is a reflection of its leadership.Leaders have the power to shape a values-driven culture. When leaders consistently embody and reinforce “what matters,” they create an environment where individuals feel a sense of belonging and shared purpose. This, in turn, fosters collaboration, innovation, and a positive work atmosphere.

Navigating Challenges with Values

Challenges are an inevitable part of the leadership journey. Values serve as a compass during turbulent times, helping leaders navigate complex situations with resilience and grace. In times of uncertainty, leaders who anchor themselves in their values demonstrate authenticity and provide a steady hand for their teams.

Authentic Leadership and Trust

“Values to Action” underscores the importance of authentic leadership in building trust. When leaders authentically live out their values, they establish a foundation of trust with their teams. This trust is not just a professional currency but a vital force that propels teams toward higher levels of collaboration, innovation, and overall success.

Continual Reflection and Growth

Leadership is a journey of continual reflection and growth. Values act as a mirror, inviting leaders to reflect on their actions and decisions. By regularly assessing whether their behaviors align with their values, leaders cultivate a habit of self-improvement. This commitment to growth not only benefits individual leaders but has a ripple effect throughout the entire organization.

Conclusion: Leading with Purpose and Impact

By understanding, embracing, and consistently embodying our values, we not only lead with purpose but also inspire those around us to do the same. In the tapestry of leadership, values are the threads that weave a narrative of authenticity, trust, and enduring success.